It was a private affair for the community. The doors were closed and eight people prayed in the air-conditioned chapel at night. Gone are the festive decorations and letterings. Gone are the majestic voices of the choir. Gone are the invitations and all the other massive and grand preparations of the first profession. This time, it is a simple and intimate profession. Last May 4, 2011, we renewed our profession.
Fr. Charles received our profession in behalf of the Salesian Society and the Church. Fr. Dixie and Fr. Joe were sitting and quietly smiling over us as we once again took our candles, light them up at the Paschal candle, and kneel before the altar we are used to celebrating mass every day.
I once again moved my left hand over the bible and my right holding the lighted candle. There were no camera flashes. The number of priests were much less than before. As I glaze my eyes over the text of religious profession, that 24th article of the constitutions which silently binds me to Christ and His Church, I realize it is the same profession even without the pomp and the romp.
There isn’t that much excitement anymore. It is the second time already or perhaps I have become used to this life? But no, it is not the excitement or the time that counts but rather the intent of doing it again, and even more again and again and again in the future.
In a world where happiness is the measure of success I may sound foolish because the life I am living is certainly not the everyday-blissful type. At times it becomes dragging, boring, and even painstakingly burdensome as it becomes light, beautiful, and fluffy in some days. Am I really ready to live this life and soon take the vows for ever? Is it a life worth living? Yes, I have convinced myself a long time ago. It is not about happiness, success, fame, power, standing, or whatever that seemingly add to who I am. It is certainly about finding meaning. It is about finding meaning in who I am, what I am, and what I am for. And I can say with a firm resolve that I can live this life even for ever.
Chastity. Poverty. Obedience. I bind them once more to me. I bind them closely to my heart. I bind them closely to my spirit. For another year I will do my best to live them as Christ did. I know I can fail but it won’t stop me from trying. The faithfulness of a Salesian, or of any religious, does not depend on his faith alone, but ever more in the faithfulness of Christ who would continue to love us and call us to Himself despite ourselves.
Blessed be God forever.
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