“Sometimes God’s Best Gifts Are Disguised as Disappointments”
This is what the novice master of both Philippine Salesian provinces FIN and FIS, Fr. Roneldo Vilbar, SDB, left us before going. As his previous visits, he always brings with him an air of calm and serenity, typically Roneldiffic, as we used to describe it.
Those very words touched me a lot because they proved so much true in my life. For there have been days when, even with all the beauty and glory surrounding me, my eyes were cloaked in a veil of sadness and gloom, and I cannot see very much than the misery that I find myself in. Yet passing through that dark cloud had proved itself a blessing. I have become stronger.
I was disappointed with a person who I thought was different and that person tortured me internally. He would speak of peace but cannot act with peace. He would speak of reconciliation but he builds walls. He speaks of God’s transforming power but the very essence of his actions were shy of the love and welcome that the true Spirit brings. Thank God I met that person, for by that person I have learned to withstand pain.
Sometimes I ask myself if I have really forgiven that person. I honestly did on my part. However forgiveness requires contrition on the other party. That person has none. This brings me a big moral dilemma. Even in the confusion of choices, I have to admit, it is helping me to practice and live the Christian ideals – true love (and with that I mean love guided by truth, that is, it is not blind).
I know that for my Religious life, more of these challenges would come my way. This deep disappointment is but the tip of an iceberg. There would be more to come. However, I have with me a Friend I could always depend on. Incidentally, the FMA sisters who celebrate their jubilee today encourage me to be strong and move forward. Religious Life is not a matter of years, it is about commitment.
Even in our darkest hours, a sliver of Light pierces through and we know that we are loved by Him.
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