The Wonder of Choice
Even now I am continually amazed at the complexity of being myself. The self is an almost infinite measure of possibilities bounded by sharp-cut and distinct limitations. I say these because I can experience a very wide range of emotions but will have to only choose one option among many on how to act as myself. Sure, I can act this way or that way, and I may have strong tendencies towards a particular behavior, but even the immense potency or the natural tendencies will have to give way to one simple choice.
Choice is what makes man. All of us are formed from a rich background, either good or bad, along with its multidimensional influence and mark on the self which has undergone the variables in life and lived through it, and in a way was formed through it. All of us are facing a future with its rich promises, either good or bad, which depends not only on one choice but along many others, directly or indirectly, each future dependent upon the many variables today, altogether drawing trying to draw the will. Past or future, rich as they are in possibilities long lost or have yet to come, must pass through one choice which we must make now.
I remember one philosopher, though I cannot remember his name, say that the striking paradox of human reality is that freedom is enslaved to choice. We all are bound to choose and the choices that we make define who we are. And who we are is not final until the final choice has been made and no choice can be made after. We are dynamic beings who continually remake ourselves with every choice whose final state is not defined by the final choice alone. Who we are at the end I believe, is defined by the sum of the choices that we have made all throughout our existence plus the value of all those choices seen together.
So in failure, I cannot just stop for when I have failed I can always bounce back at living again. And in success I cannot be contented for such pleasures are only for that moment and will fade through time. The power of choosing is perfected through an active, conscious, and positive exercise. We are not yet done, but we are beings.